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One Line Sardarji Jokes :
- Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
- How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade
at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
- Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
- What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
- What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
- What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
- What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning
storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
- Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
- How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
-
Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
- How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
- "Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
- What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
- Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as
opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
Oops Concept
Learn OOP Concepts now from a Sardarjee
One Sardarjee went for an interview for a OO Programmers job.
As the conversation went on, it is depicted below:
Interviewer: Mr. Singh, Can u tell me, what is inheritance. Surd:(Embarassed by this simple
que.) When U make love to ur
wife and she bears a child, that is Inheritance.
Interviewer was a thorough professional and was not disturbed
by Surd's reply. But he wanted to have some fun.
Interviewer: Then what is Multiple Inheritance?
Surd:When U and ur neighbour make love with ur
wife and ur wife bears a single child, that is multiple
inheritance.
Interviewer: What is Virtual Function?
Surd: When ur neighbour makes love with ur wife and u assume
that the child is urs.
Interviewer: What is Pure Virtual Function?
Surd: When u r impotent and still ur wife bears a child.
This was too much for the interviewer; so he got angry and got
up. But the sardarjee was very cool. He said immediately, "no
problem, just as sume that ur wife is an abstract base class and allow her to
be derived as many times possible.
Get Punjab from India
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed.
Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and
we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did
not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he
wasn't happy. The surd replied,
"OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"
Selling to Sardars
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a
bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the
salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his
hair style, then came back and again told the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Dam, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big
sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Lesbian
A Sardar Casanova is drinking at the bar when a beautiful woman walks in. He offers to buy her a drink. She replies "Thanks but I
may warn you that you will not even get to first base". "Arre, why? I am
hot Surd from patiala full of fire ????" "That?s because I?m lesbian." The
Sardar thinks and asks "Is that your country name ?" The girl laughs "You mean you don?t know what a lesbian is ?" "No, not really" replies the
Sardar.
"Let me explain. Do you see that lovely girl in the corner? Well what I really
want to do is kiss her, hold her, take off all her clothes, caress her and
lick her all night. Now do you know what a lesbian is?" At this explanation the
Sardar burst into tears.
"Oh no, oh no. I think I?m a lesbian too."
To Loose weight
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,
he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor
to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the
problem?"asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms from home."
Employment
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly
filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he
came to the column
Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled
there. After much
thought he wrote : Yes
Crocodile Boots
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile
boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being
made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily
exclaims "71st and *again*
barefeet!"
Thermos
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a
thermos.
" The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It
keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take
it!" The next day, he
walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object you have?" He said, "It's a thermos." The boss then says,
"What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things
hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The
sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
Answering Machine
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it
because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar nahin hai"
Jurassic Park
This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching he is cowering in his seat when his
friend asks him "kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal
hai, pata hai ki
cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
Bukha Sardar
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway
tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him
and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin
bhook se na marjaun"
Xerox :
Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox ?
*He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
White paper :
?Do u know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
*He takes a Xerox of the white paper !!!
20 Rupees Barber
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake
him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for
20 rupees, the
sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the
Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the
matter?" Replied he
"The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken
up someone else"
Missing Donkey
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is
missing; what are you
thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been
missing too."
Chinese Kid
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother:
Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when
both parents are Sikh?" " Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every
4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
Doggy
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space .
The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" ( its
the barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop
barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
Color TVs
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
Fly America
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "
Just
a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
Clock & Ladder
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street
which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the
Tower. Sardarji says
"Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured
he was taken. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I
am
not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a
ladder."
Double Decker bus
DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.
They managed to get
into a
double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is
over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He
met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both
hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on?
Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta
replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
MBA
Jailsingh decided to write the MBA exam.He could
understand every thing
except
for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home
RAJIV: Jailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?
Jail Singh: Every thing is
Phone & Iron box
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was
ironing a shirt and
the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I
accidentally picked
up
the iron and stuck it to my ear." " Oh Dear! " the
doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But ..what happened to your other ear?" "The
scoundrel called back."
Past tense
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him
how
did he do his exam, for that he replied
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