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DIRTY JOKES:
Rules of Bedroom Golf :
The Rules of Bedroom Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to
check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to
play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the
course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with
special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been
known to damage players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled,
particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been
known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered
to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at tall times. Some players may
be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised
to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of
play when this is the case.
12. The course owners is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the
hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play
the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a
quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several
times in one match.
Three Daughters Dinner :
Three girls asked their mother if they could invite their boyfriends over for dinner. Their mother told them to go upstairs to get ready and to call them. An hour later, when the girls were not downstairs yet, and the boyfriends still had not shown up, the mother went to check on the
three girls. She went to the first girl's door and she was laughing. She didn't say anything
and she went to the second girl's door. She was crying. She didn't say a word and she went to
the third girl's door. The third girl wasn't saying anything. So the mother went back to the first girl's door and asked her, 'Why are you laughing?' 'It's so small it tickles!' She went to the second girl's door and asked her why she was
crying 'It's so big, I can't get it out!' She went to the third girl's door and asked her
why she wasn't saying anything. 'Well,' the third girl replied,
'You've always told me not to talk with my mouth full!
How to make love
Ingredients:
4 Loving Eyes
4 Loving Arms
4 Well Shaped Legs
2 Firm Milk Containers
1 Fur Lined mixing Bowl
2 Large Nuts
1 Large Banana
Method:
1.Look into Loving Eyes.
2.Fold in Loving Arms.
3.Spread Well Shaped Legs.
4.Squeeze and massage milk Containers gently until Fur Lined
Mixing Bowl is well greased. Check frequently with middle finger.
5.Add Banana - work in and out until well creamed.
6.Cover with Nuts and sigh with relief.
Cake done when Banana becomes soft. Be sure to wash mixing
utensils and don't lick the bowl.
Caution: If cake begins to rise leave town immediately!!!
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